Most people don’t believe in themselves. It often takes someone to believe in you to build upon a belief in yourself. Once someone has expressed a belief in you, it’s your responsibility to build upon that foundation by acting on it. Once that foundation has been set, you can confidently share that belief with those around you. Rarely can you pass on to others what you don’t possess yourself. Motivational speaker, Les Brown, has often said that people may need to barrow your faith in them while they develop a faith in themselves. Pass on to others the gift someone gave you when they said, “I believe in YOU”!
When a person thinks highly of you, it’s a good thing. When you get a person to think more highly of themselves, it’s the best thing. John Maxwell is right when he says, “If you express skepticism and doubt in their abilities, then they will repay your lack of confidence with mediocrity. On the other hand, if you show belief in people, they will go the extra mile to live up to your high hopes for them.”
Find me a player who doesn’t struggle with self-esteem and self-doubt and I’ll show you a person who isn’t breathing. When we have faith in others – encourage them, empower them, make observations that lead to opportunities to better them, remain optimistic for them when life’s difficulties overwhelm them, they will begin to have a faith in themselves. When we believe in others we give them a reason to believe in themselves.
I once heard it being said that the two most important word kids will hear are, “coach says.” Are your words demonstrating faith in your athletes? When you consistently demonstrate that you have faith in others, they will begin to show signs of establishing a faith in themselves. Here is one way we can show others we believe in them:
Forget the past – What happened in our past doesn’t define our future. We can’t walk into our future with the bag of the past dangling over our shoulder. To show that we have faith in someone, focus on where they are going, not where they have been. Focus on their potential and possibilities rather than mistakes and misfortunes. What must you un-see so that you can help someone see that there best days are ahead of them?
Affirms – My mentor, John Maxwell, asked his father ‘how do you know when someone needs encouragement’. His father answered, “If they are breathing”. We can follow that question with another – how often do you encourage others? The answer – as often as you can! You can’t tell a kid ‘good job’ one time and call it good. You can’t help a kid improve in an area one time and expect to see improvement. It’s an all the time job to keep others encouraged in a world where our words of encouragement get lost in the daily discouragements of life. Who can you add value to today with words of affirmation?
Inspires – When we have faith in others, we expose them to others who have successfully traveled the road they find themselves on. Books, movies, conferences, music, and mentors all help in keeping the flame burning within. If a person doesn’t have faith in themselves, they probably won’t seek these things out themselves. You, the one expressing faith in them, have to take the initiative to see what they don’t see and provide the resources and tools they need to get where they want to go.
Trustworthy – When the questions 1) Do you see me? 2) Do you like me? and 3) Can I trust you? are answered with a yes, we have a responsibility to be constant and consistent for the people we’ve expressed belief in. If we demonstrate, at any point, a lack of faith in the person we’ve developed a trustworthy relationship with, we risk losing face with that person. Be a person others can trust and count on daily.
Hunger – We get to create a hunger for others to see bigger, be bigger, go further than one ever thought possible.
My belief in someone places a responsibility on them to live into. It motivates them to try harder, dig deeper, and climb higher than ever before. Nancy Dornan said, “When you believe in people, they do the impossible” (Becoming A Person of Influence, John Maxwell and Jim Dornan, pg. 62).
My belief in someone isn’t to get them to think I’m great, but to get them to understand just how GREAT they are! And, before you know it, they will do exactly that. Motivational speaker, Les Brown says, “You have something special. You have greatness within you.” It’s our belief in others that creates a hunger to uncage that greatness.
My faith in you doesn’t make you great. It only helps you know that you have the power to be great.
Boyd Hamlin is the Director of Program Development for VOLTA Sports and Leadership Development Group. VOLTA offers a unique three-pronged approach to, coaching, playing and sports leadership beyond the Xs and Os. VOLTA provides interactive workshops, peer mentoring, executive coaching and an eLearning platform. Boyd brings over 25 years in Student Ministry encouraging, equipping, empowering students and leaders to excel beyond their known potential, to reach and exceed their personal goals, and to lead and serve others. For more information, click here: VOLTA